Moving forward

There are so many different kinds of cases in Foster care, we actually have one of the least complicated ones. There are no family members fighting for this baby, no mom/dad custody battles, no getting passed around to different foster homes, or going back and forth from a parent into foster care. In our case, its either go back to mom, or get adopted. Thats the bottom line.
We feel fortunate that we can provide a stable home, that is always there, everyday the same faces.
We are now at our 4th month, almost 5th, and our baby is now 15+ pounds. He is HAPPY and very healthy. But nothing is that easy! He went from his head being 80th percentile, to 100 percentile in 2 months. Its a big ol head, slightly mis shapen with a VERY large soft spot. His pediatrician was concerned about his head growth, but also the soft spot. So we have an appt to go to OHSU to see specialists about it. So, ok this is MY baby....I don't want them to hurt him! Lots of emotions.
Also, mom went into detox! We were really pulling for her, but after a week, she took off. She has not contacted DHS to see her baby, or set up visits in a month, since she took off. This is very sad. Sad that she couldn't pull it together, but sad that this was her last shot. She has basically blown it. The next step is termination of parental rights. Then adoption. I guess I feel like things are slipping away...like he's going to be taken from me soon. That "soon" could be a year or more....but it's all too soon. At this point, I am his mommy, my husband is his daddy and our daughter is his big sister. This is how we feel, and I wish I could change the laws. But there isn't anything I can do. I contacted a lawyer who was absolutely wonderful, but was honest in telling me that she couldn't help me. She was sad, she wanted to, but she read the law to me, and a judge will send him to be with his half sister. A family hes never seen, they have never seen him, met him, they know nothing of him. We are raising him.....in my heart, he is my son.  How do you let someone take your child?